5 posts tagged “virgil”

People leave. I know that seems like a fairly obvious thing to say, but it's true. Especially now it's entirely normal to go and live in another country for a few months, even a few years, it's natural that people you see regularly, one day won't be there anymore.

Marian goes back to America this weekend. I'm going to miss her lots and lots and I'm very sad. But it's more than that. There's something strange about the whole leaving thing. There's something different about modern day friendships.

I love my friends more than anything. Even more than the two kittens curled up next to me on TikiChris' sofa. And I hate the idea of them leaving. But they do. They leave. It happens lots more now. Whether they shoot of travelling for a few months, or move back to hometowns, or away from hometowns, the friendships and relationships that you forge change. More than they ever would have a few years back.

Without the internet, how eager would I have been to travel to China? Yeah I still went on my own, but in the back of my head I did think 'at least I can email people back home'. And I did. A lot. (Though the bombings in London probably forced a bit more communication.) But I always knew that there would be people at the end of a phone line of the end of a modem.

People don't think about it now. Communication between friends takes very little effort. Marian and I will keep in touch on Facebook etc and that's brilliant. But there's something strange about having people in your life for a set amount of time. Sofia leaves London in April. And I just can't imagine London without her.

I love that I've met all of these brilliant jet-setting people recently, they're all brilliant. And I know that I'm just as likely to bugger off to the other side of the world as anyone, but I just find that the dynamics of friendships has changed. It's not the kind of thing your expect to evolve, but as much as social networking and technology have changed our life, it's affected our social lives as well.

This should seem fairly obvious, after all, it's not called 'social networking' for nothing. But there's something different. Not just in how you interact with your friends, but with where they are in the world. With how you speak to them every day. Social networking should make you closer. And to some extent it does. Cate and I use Facebook to chat shit that only we understand (in fairness, we do this in real life too) and I can keep in touch with Marian while she's miles away. This is brilliant and I'm so pleased that this is possible. But some of my friends aren't glued to a computer all day every day. And we speak less. Because now it's harder to pick up the phone.

For the first time in aaaaaaaaages Ang and I hung out. Properly. Proper gossiping with wine and silliness (and kittens being distracting). We both agree that this doesn't happen anymore. Not nearly often enough. Not because we don't want to see each other, but because our life is entirely full of other stuff. Sometimes I can feel like I've spent all day talking to my friends online and that I don't need to go out and see them. Social networking isn't meant to stop you seeing your friends. It's not meant to replace interaction. Twittering isn't meant to happen instead of conversation. Birthday cards should still be sent. Phone calls should still be made. Poking should be banned.

It's just hit me this weekend how much our relationships our changing. From Cupcate writing last month about not having a 'best friend', and to us having so many online 'friends' that we don't meet. Then there's the networking 'friend' that we have. The ones that we drink with and talk shop and possibly even bitch about when they've gone (guilty) because they aren't real friends. All of this is strange and weird and unsettling. I just want my friends back. I want them to stay in one place and I want to see them. I miss Marian, I don't want Sofia to leave and I want to see Ang and Virgil and Cate much more than I do. I miss my friends. It's the only thing I don't like changing. They're all brilliant and I'm sad to see them leave.

I know that's selfish, but they're the most important things in the world to me and I'm not ready to let them go yet.

Everything I was meant to do this weekend kind a went a bit wrong. But my weekend was still all kinds of brilliant.

I went to Wimbledon. Hooray! For two hours. I woke up late and had to queue all on my own as Sam and Kelly sensibly went on ahead. I would have had to queue until about 1 and that just didn't sound fun. So I came home. But at least I can say I've been to Wimbledon now. Even if I didn't see any Wombles. Perhaps they don't have to queue for their tickets.

So instead of sulking, I decided to have my own mini Wimbledon on my living room floor. I made a picnic and had tea and cake and strawberries and Nigel and I watched it on the telly instead. This was much better. Andy Murray won which was nice. (Except I promised The Hospital Club that if he beats Federer I'd streak across Henman Hill... hmmmmm...) Then we drank fizzy champagne (er.... Cava really) and played Scrabble in the garden. I won. Again. It's now 4-0 to me and Nigel is getting quite annoyed.

Then I rushed of to the pub to meet Sof and Virgil and Ang to see this band who are really very good. Who weren't playing. They changed their mind and decided to play on the Sunday instead. Dammit. But the bands we did see were great. And hot too. Although Sofia and I couldn't work out how old they were so we weren't sure if it was wrong to fancy them. One of them did tell me but then I got drunk on Hoegarden and forgot. The cheeky fucker also told me I looked 29 so I didn't think he was as cute after that. Still, it's better than getting ID'd for fags like I did a few weeks ago. (To have the ASDA manager say "Oh, yes. She's definitely fine. Of course you can serve her". Twat.)

I was a bit of a hippy and had little plaits in my hair and the band had no shoes on.

People I've seen:

Neil, Cate, Virgil, Ang, Leon, Sofia, Alan, James, Chris, Dean.

People I've spoken to but did not see:

T, Dave H, my Dad, Jane.

My most interesting text message:

NHS tea would be grim. It would all come out of a big vat in Hull. Yuk! - Dave Haste.

Things I've eaten:

Cheese, yummiest bread ever, salad, egg curd tart, BBQ stuff, thai food, fried chicken, cookies.

Things I've drunk:

Chablis, beer, beer, beer, wine, fizzy drinks, smoothie, water.

Things I've talked about:

Brussels, writing, silliness, favourite films, travelling, China, ovaries, excitement, website projects, new job, Debra Charity, university, archeology, ice cream, secret passageways, London, rowing boats, hayfever.

I've smoked:

About 20 cigarettes. But I went through about 40 coz all of my friends are theiving bastards.

Places I've been:

Richmond, Vauxhall, Kennington, Fitzrovia, Charing Cross, My House.

I've spent:

About 50 quid I reckon. Which probably means I've spent about £65-70. Hey ho.

Weekend rating:

10/10

*

Ps - Yes, the date went rather well. Thanks for asking.

So, I've been in my shiny new job for a week now. And well, it's FUCKING BRILLIANT.

Although there are some things I have noticed about working in an office again:

• I still really like Prets Ham and Egg Bloomers. But their soup is not as good as I remember.
• I'm not used to working a full day anymore. I'm a bit shit at this. I liked having my lunch and watching Neighbours at the same time. But Harold is apparently leaving this week so I don't think I'll watch it as much now anyway.
• People in my office don't talk. When they do, it can often be by messenger. After working in offices where you practically got a pay rise for making a lot of noise, this feels very strange.
• I like having a structure to my day.
• I *really* like being a worker bee for half the week. But I also like being a creative butterfly for the other half of the week too.
• I don't work Mondays. Brilliant. I actually do hope you're all jealous.

So, there. Some thoughts about my office. I'm enjoying it and I like the people I work with. I feel like I do something useful with my day instead of sitting in bed typing on my blog and watching This Morning with a cup of tea (exactly what I'm doing now by the way).

But yes, things are good. Things are happy. Although everyone around me seems to be just as bewildered about how quickly things turned around as I am. But they're pleased that things are good and shiny too. I remember having a very drunken conversation with Virgil about that. And many other things.

So yeah, while I'm really enjoying being in bed with tea right now, I'm also looking forward to going back into the office tomorrow.

There's a world of difference between people I know and the people I love. That might seem fairly obvious, but there's a small handful of people who support me in more ways than they'll ever realise.

I wouldn't be able to be a freelance writer without them. I'm not even sure I'd be a very successful writer. I reckon I'd go crazy without them. Sam often keeps my feet on the ground when things get messy and I feel like I'm not coping with it all. Cate always tells me that I can do all these mad and crazy things without question. She never stops believing in me.

There are people like Ang and Virgil who just trust what I'm doing. They never question it. Friends who are excited by everything I do and all of the writing I put out there. They just trust that I'm doing the right thing, and that I can do it. That I can write. Sometimes when I'm having a tough day, it's really important for me to hear that.

So when I think about last weekend, when I was sad and felt like I'd been treated badly by an old friend, I think about things and realise it doesn't matter. Because my real friends are the most brilliant people in my life. They believe in me all the time. Even when I don't believe in myself.