4 posts tagged “sam”
To give you an idea of where my head is at the moment, here's a Skype chat I had with Marcus earlier today:
Sian Meades says: Marcus, when you guys set up Webjam, did you have million things to do the day before and think it was all going to go wrong and be a big fat mess?
Marcus Greenwood says: thats my life in one sentence
Sian Meades says: so this feeling of panic is normal? it's OK that by three o-clock you might find me hiding under my desk?
Marcus Greenwood says: thats fine
Marcus Greenwood says: you can take your laptop down there
Sian Meades says: or throw it out of the window.
Marcus Greenwood says: this is also acceptable
Sian Meades says: brilliant
My website launches tomorrow. The website that I've been working on since April 27th. The day after Ant's birthday when I said to Cate that I had an idea for a website that had been in my head for a few days. She bloody well went and told me it was a good idea so I did lots of scribbling. Damn her! Over three months of hard work is all going to be in front of you tomorrow. And you can judge it and tell me it's shit and think I'm rubbish and there's fuck all I can do about it.
It's the scariest thing ever. IN THE WORLD. Scarier than that film with the scary things in the caves (and that's SCARY SCARY.)
Because this is the first time I've worked hard on something for just me. I haven't got anyone behind me. I've got a GREAT team of writers (many thanks to Jane for keeping me sane today!) and there have been a million people who have stopped me from going crazy. Sam has helped me get the site to where it is now. He was like my Media Assistant and basically trawled through all of my thoughts and rubbish to pick out the good stuff. The important stuff than I need to concentrate on. Without that, well the website would probably read a lot like this blog and full of crap no one cares about. Without Cate saying to me that the idea was brilliant in the first place, I wouldn't have started. With Matt bouncing ideas with me back and forth and being practical (really) I'd have got distracted. Without Rob H helping me with all the techy stuff and Alberto doing a FABULOUS design, I wouldn't be in this blind state of terror right now. Because I wouldn't have a website to launch.
And despite web launch terror, I think you're all brilliant and I'm humbled that you've all been so helpful and supportive.
I hope you like the site.
Yay!!!! Lonesome George may soon not be lonesome!!! This is happy making!!!!
So happy making, you get to see a photo of him again.
Thanks to Matt and Sam for both sharing the good news with me!
There's a world of difference between people I know and the people I love. That might seem fairly obvious, but there's a small handful of people who support me in more ways than they'll ever realise.
I wouldn't be able to be a freelance writer without them. I'm not even sure I'd be a very successful writer. I reckon I'd go crazy without them. Sam often keeps my feet on the ground when things get messy and I feel like I'm not coping with it all. Cate always tells me that I can do all these mad and crazy things without question. She never stops believing in me.
There are people like Ang and Virgil who just trust what I'm doing. They never question it. Friends who are excited by everything I do and all of the writing I put out there. They just trust that I'm doing the right thing, and that I can do it. That I can write. Sometimes when I'm having a tough day, it's really important for me to hear that.
So when I think about last weekend, when I was sad and felt like I'd been treated badly by an old friend, I think about things and realise it doesn't matter. Because my real friends are the most brilliant people in my life. They believe in me all the time. Even when I don't believe in myself.
I've realised that I'm at a really strange point in my writing career. Even saying that sounds weird - I've only been freelance for around six months after all. But since erm, 'leaving' Glitterditch, I've been in a strange but really quite exciting limbo.
I have more free time during the day. Which means that Sam and I got to go to a theatre Matinee last week (Harold Pinter. Strange. Nearly fell asleep. That can't be good.) Sam doesn't have a proper job either which means we can have fun while everyone else is at work. This often ends in childish giggling.
The main reason I have more free time is really because I think it's entirely normal to write at two in the morning. I'm now also getting paid a good rate for the work I'm doing and this keeps me in pretty shoes. This stops me stressing out. And when my Dad says "Isn't it time you got a proper job?" I actually believe that although I'm poorer than I was when I was doing sales, I don't need to go back to doing 9-5.
So what am I doing now? Aside from some great and regular paid writing work for a couple of lovely clients, I'm doing a lot of unpaid projects. The stuff that will hopefully set me up for the future. The creative stuff that I really really want to do forever and ever. This is the only time I'm ever going to get the chance to do it so if I fuck it up now, then yes I'll probably have to go back to the office job. Which would at least stop my Dad from worrying.
Here's what I'm up to:
1. Setting up a very exciting new blog. Watch this space.
2. Working on a new book proposal with the beautiful Cate.
3. Scribbling my own coffee table book.
4. I'm also collaborating with a lovely artist called Jason. We're mixing my fiction work and his artwork into a whole project and exhibition about how writing and art works together.
That's a lot of stuff. And currently, it's all unpaid. When the birds are tweeting in the morning, and you've been asleep for six hours already, this is what I'll be working on. After I've spent all day working to pay my rent, buy food and wine and essentials like shoes. It's Saturday evening and I've already decided that I'm not going out tonight. Instead I'm going to stay in and work.
Strangely, even though it's daunting, looking at the list above makes me smile. I'm having more fun than ever and doing things that I really enjoy. Yeah, so I'll have to work 15 hour days and every weekend for the rest of the year, but I'm happy.
