1 post tagged “marian”

People leave. I know that seems like a fairly obvious thing to say, but it's true. Especially now it's entirely normal to go and live in another country for a few months, even a few years, it's natural that people you see regularly, one day won't be there anymore.

Marian goes back to America this weekend. I'm going to miss her lots and lots and I'm very sad. But it's more than that. There's something strange about the whole leaving thing. There's something different about modern day friendships.

I love my friends more than anything. Even more than the two kittens curled up next to me on TikiChris' sofa. And I hate the idea of them leaving. But they do. They leave. It happens lots more now. Whether they shoot of travelling for a few months, or move back to hometowns, or away from hometowns, the friendships and relationships that you forge change. More than they ever would have a few years back.

Without the internet, how eager would I have been to travel to China? Yeah I still went on my own, but in the back of my head I did think 'at least I can email people back home'. And I did. A lot. (Though the bombings in London probably forced a bit more communication.) But I always knew that there would be people at the end of a phone line of the end of a modem.

People don't think about it now. Communication between friends takes very little effort. Marian and I will keep in touch on Facebook etc and that's brilliant. But there's something strange about having people in your life for a set amount of time. Sofia leaves London in April. And I just can't imagine London without her.

I love that I've met all of these brilliant jet-setting people recently, they're all brilliant. And I know that I'm just as likely to bugger off to the other side of the world as anyone, but I just find that the dynamics of friendships has changed. It's not the kind of thing your expect to evolve, but as much as social networking and technology have changed our life, it's affected our social lives as well.

This should seem fairly obvious, after all, it's not called 'social networking' for nothing. But there's something different. Not just in how you interact with your friends, but with where they are in the world. With how you speak to them every day. Social networking should make you closer. And to some extent it does. Cate and I use Facebook to chat shit that only we understand (in fairness, we do this in real life too) and I can keep in touch with Marian while she's miles away. This is brilliant and I'm so pleased that this is possible. But some of my friends aren't glued to a computer all day every day. And we speak less. Because now it's harder to pick up the phone.

For the first time in aaaaaaaaages Ang and I hung out. Properly. Proper gossiping with wine and silliness (and kittens being distracting). We both agree that this doesn't happen anymore. Not nearly often enough. Not because we don't want to see each other, but because our life is entirely full of other stuff. Sometimes I can feel like I've spent all day talking to my friends online and that I don't need to go out and see them. Social networking isn't meant to stop you seeing your friends. It's not meant to replace interaction. Twittering isn't meant to happen instead of conversation. Birthday cards should still be sent. Phone calls should still be made. Poking should be banned.

It's just hit me this weekend how much our relationships our changing. From Cupcate writing last month about not having a 'best friend', and to us having so many online 'friends' that we don't meet. Then there's the networking 'friend' that we have. The ones that we drink with and talk shop and possibly even bitch about when they've gone (guilty) because they aren't real friends. All of this is strange and weird and unsettling. I just want my friends back. I want them to stay in one place and I want to see them. I miss Marian, I don't want Sofia to leave and I want to see Ang and Virgil and Cate much more than I do. I miss my friends. It's the only thing I don't like changing. They're all brilliant and I'm sad to see them leave.

I know that's selfish, but they're the most important things in the world to me and I'm not ready to let them go yet.