8 posts tagged “happy”
I'm so happy I'm going to share this Rob Ryan picture with you because it's bloody brilliant:
Wow it's been forever since I posted on my blog. But I've been sooooo busy with other things that I don't think I've had time to stop and think, let alone ramble. Lucky for you guys I guess. All three of you.
So what have I been up to? Well Poppycockney is going really well. Everyone has been so supportive and seems to really like it and I can't explain how happy I am that it's up and running and going well. It just seems to work. I'm not sure why, I can't explain it, but it's brilliant. I love. I'm pleased that the hard work we've done has paid off. So much so that we're doing a press launch on Monday. Wow.
But everything else is brilliant as well. Things are going well with the boy (who could read this for all I know so maybe I should keep shhhhh about him.) But they're cool and I'm happy. I still get freaked out by the whole relationshippy idea, and I'm getting used to it - I'm trying to just take things as they come and see what happens. Seems to be working so far. I think I tend to freak out when I'm seeing someone who's good for me. When it's worth me putting my energy into that and I feel like I'm getting something in return. The Boy makes me feel like I can do silly things. He also makes me eat sushi for the first time EVER (I know, leave me alone)... my conclusion being that SUSHI IS BRILLIANT. And right now I don't want to be kissing anyone else.
It's hard to explain how happy things are right now. It's not just one thing making me happy. I'm not just happy because of the boy, or work. And I'd hate to go back to a time when I could be happy for those reasons alone. I think I've reached some kind of point in my life where I'm OK with things. I'm OK with seeing how things go and fucking up and just seeing what happens. If it all goes wrong, tomorrow, I could deal with it. I'd be gutted, but I feel like I could deal with it. I feel strong.
I had a panic attack on Sunday. I was gutted as I thought I'd got past that. But it's just making me realise why I have them and how I can deal with that. I don't deal well with 'coming down' from pressure. But I know that. And I getting better with it. And this month I put myself under huge amounts of pressure and it worked out fine. It also reminded me that I need to find a happy balance. I can't spend four months being crazy busy and then expect to spend one night in and feel fine - I put my body under so much stress by doing that and I should know by now that I can't deal with it. need to make sure I don't have to deal with it. No amount of work is more important than my health.
I've just written a whole paragraph telling you all about the perfect things I've done this weekend so far. But I deleted it because, sometimes I think things should stay secret and none of your business. :-) I want to keep things in my head for a little while. But I did buy some new furniture which is very lovely. Buying furniture makes me feel grown up. But I bought a huge chair. Marcus says it's like a giant cloud that you sit on. This is fun. It was made even more fun that I threw my desk out to fit it into my room. I like this.
If I could bottle how brilliant I felt right now, I really really would do. Instead, I'm going to go and wonder around Greenwich Market and buy some pretty pointless stuff. For no bloody reason. Just smiling reasons.
Everything right now is just for smiling reasons. These are the best reasons of all.
By the time I've drunk my tea and finished scribbling this, my new blog Poppycockney will have launched.
Poppycockney is a blog about London, but it's fictional. Every character has their own opinion (they're real), but they also have their own lives and that's the fun part. We get to play and have silly characters and do silly things.
I write the character of Poppy (who else) and it's a blog about her life. Well, her and her friends. I don't know why I decided to write a blog in fiction. It's like Gossip Girl but backwards so maybe I was subconsciously influenced by that.
It's been such hard work. Getting a team of people together and keeping things going is tough. Especially as we initially planned to launch on June 16th! Things get in the way - like y'know - life and shit.
One of the main things pushing me was when the guys at Messy Media telling me that I couldn't edit a team of people. At the time, they were probably right. What the hell do I know about editing a website and leading a team of people? Fuck all. But I do know this site. And I do know my team. I'm very passionate about both. I don't know if that's enough and I've got loads to learn, but surely every editor has to start somewhere? If I knew what I was doing and didn't fuck up that wouldn't be much fun at all. I'm also constantly amazed by how supportive the guys writing for me are. They believe in this site and, more surprisingly sometimes, they believe in me. Even when I'm freaking out like I have been over the last couple of days.
I love what we've done with Poppycockney. Really really love it. I know how much work has gone into it. Blood, sweat tears, vodka etc. But it's all been worth it.
You can check out the site here... it's about to go live in 5...4...3...2...1....
Yay!!!! Lonesome George may soon not be lonesome!!! This is happy making!!!!
So happy making, you get to see a photo of him again.
Thanks to Matt and Sam for both sharing the good news with me!
Sometimes, life is so brilliantly easy that you can't help but smile. Today two strangers had a conversation that went a bit like this:
"I'd love you to write for my new project but I can't pay you yet."
"Your project sounds great! I'd love you to write for my new project too! But I can't pay you either. Why don't we write for each other instead of worrying about money!"
This is how networking should work! This is what is meant to happen in a freelance writer's day! Everyone is happy! Everyone wins. It shouldn't be any harder than this.
Take note fellow editors: This is how we want to work. It's simple really.
Which means more time for cocktails and cake.
Dave Haste came round to see me last night. He thought he'd cheer me up because I was sick. This is what he brought with him:
This is what we did:
That is how you cheer a Siany up.
I start my new job tomorrow. Eeeeeshk!
But actually, I'm feeling more of a happy 'eeeeshk' than a scary 'eeeeeshk' if that makes sense. I didn't realise there was different 'eeeeeshks'. Yeah so it's scary and stuff, but in an exciting way. I get to take on new projects, play in town and learn fun things. With people who were really nice when I met them on Thursday.
So instead of freaking out, I'm actually being pretty chilled. I've done lots of work and stuff today and feel on top of stuff. I've also spent the day flirting with a handsome boy. We're going on a picnic on Saturday... that's all the nosy gossip you're getting today...
I feel... centred. If that isn't too much of a wanky word. I feel like I've got my act together a little bit (I did invoicing on time today!) and I feel prepared for whatever is thrown at me. Yeah some of it will be daunting and I won't have a clue what's going on, but I'll get to grips with it. I've been hired because I can do the job and I believe that.
So not scary. Happy. Smiley. Shiny.
A pretty good 'eeeeshk'.
Eeeeshk!!!
PS - I'm blonde now too. Which looks fab so therefore tomorrow will be excellent.
Champagne gives me an awful awful headache. I blame the Hospital Club.
My house is messy and I really really really need to tidy up. And do laundry.
I'm off to see the Foo Fighters in an hour and I'm very excited about it. I am going to find a way to kiss Dave Grohl. WEMBLEY STADIUM! WEMBLEY! I've never been. It's apparently very big.
I wish I knew what was in the Passionfruit cocktail I had last night. Aside from Passionfruit, obviously.
I start my new job next week. On Tuesday. Tuesday is my new favourite day.
I think I've got another writing job. Which means that I absolutely can not take on any more work. Wow.
My life should be sponsored by Twinings everyday tea.
I'm hungry.
Today I got offered a brilliant brilliant job. A job that's perfect for me and a job that I can do well.
I'm now Community Editor for the site Webjam.
Community Editor. Sounds shiny doesn't it?
I'm happy today. I really think this job is going to be good for me and I'm excited by many things now. I'm still freelance. The job is part time which means that I'll get out of the house for half of the week. Thank fuck for that. I can actually go a whole day without speaking to people in the real world sometimes. That's scary.
But it also means I've got time to do all of my other projects too. In fact, I'll have to manage my time better to fit it all in so I'll probably write more instead of playing Mario Kart. Brilliant. My website is still launching this month. I'm still excited about that.
The most important thing? Well I left my job at Cedar six months ago. It's taken me six months to get my little freelance world all sorted out. In a few weeks time I'll be earning real money. I've spent half this time tearing my hair out and crying. A lot. With frustration mostly It's been pretty shit actually. I'd love to say it's been a great six months, but it's been hard and actually not that fun. I'm too tired to have a beer to celebrate. I still need to write four more proposals this evening.
But I'm happy.
Because I did all this. It took me a while and I couldn't have done it without the support of my wonderful friends and family but this was my work. It was my pitches, my hard work and my 'fuck off I bloody well can do this' attitude. And the fact that I actually am a bloody good writer. I forget that sometimes. I was really close to giving up a few times but I'm far too stubborn for that. And it's paid off. Writing at three in the morning for six months has paid off. And it's worth every single minute of it.
I'm going to catch up on some sleep now.
